How To Be Heard: Secrets of Powerful Speaking and Listening Notes

4 Leeches
1.Looking Good
Speechwriting
Competitive Speaking
Embellishment
2.Being Right
Interrupting
3.People Pleasing
4.Fixing

7 Sins
Gossip
Condemning
Negativity
Complaining
Excuses
Exaggeration And Lying
Dogmatism

The leeches lurk behind and generate all 7 sins and behind all of the leeches is fear.

Avoiding Words
Should
Just
But
You made me
Maximisers words: Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody.

Avoiding Words
Should
Just
But
You made me
Maximisers words: Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody.

6 enemies of effective communication:
Assumptions
Generalisation
Emotions
Noise
Time
Semantics

Hearing is a sensation. It goes on all the time, whether you are paying attention or not. Listening is hearing plus attention.
Listening is a skill, one that can be learned and improved.

3 kinds of listening: outer listening, inner listening, created listening.

The main secret to conscious listening lies in intention.Improve conscious listening practices:

  1. Silence
  2. The Mixer
  3. Savouring
  4. Listening With
  5. Listening From (expensive vs reductive)
  6. Listening For
  7. RASA (Receive, Appreciate, Summarise, Ask)
    HARAH (Humility, Awareness, Respect, Attention, Humor)

Mantra: we listen with our ears, with our eyes, and with our heart.

The 4 CS

  1. Commitment
  2. Consciousness
  3. Compassion
  4. Curiosity

Different listenings like love, nature, sales etc.

In sales it’s important to listen for 2 things: context and cues.

Hyrum Smith
Great speakers are teaching. They are not telling, they are teaching. A leader needs to make the presentation in a way that it goes through first the chest then up to the brain. Great teachers instinctively teach with parables/apperception. That means you that you teach an idea and then you share a story that solidifies the idea.

Use stories that people relates to.Great speakers are great story tellers.

The foundation of powerful speaking: HAIL.
Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Love.

Honesty: be clear and be straight.
Impact stems from delivering great content well, in the right place at the right time.
Content + Delivery + Context = Impact

Create effective content, be clear on 3 sets of intentions: your intentions for you, your intentions for them, their intentions.

What’s the big idea? What am I trying to get across? In 10 words.So what? Why care?
4MAT: 1 Why 2 What 3 How 4 What If

Think-Feel-Know
Inspirational stories need to end with a rise, cautionary tales may end with a fall.If you want to seize and hold people’s attention, become a good storyteller.Stories don’t have to be long or complicated. Use stories from your own life.

Vocal Toolbox

Content, Delivery, YouPosture, Stance and Gesture